Max's Blog!

Once upon a time, I was on Omegle, and talking to a British person, and they mentioned the phrase “camp.” Apparently, in Britain, this means “looks gay, but isn’t actually gay.”

This is vaguely related to my recent experience at Young Writers. Beforehand, I though it would be pretty lame, boring, and other such bland adjectives. But I was wrong, because, uh, I’m never right anymore, but that’s besides the point.

I’m actually, literally too lazy to describe what went on at camp, but I made some lovely friends, and we did some fun stuff and stuff.

AND NOW, ON TO MORE IMPORTANT MATTERS!

Anyone who follows Nathan Fillion on twitter knows that he recently coined the phrase “Double Rainbow (all the way)” which is the approximate of “super mega orgasmic-ly awesome…” and also being synonymous with Nathan Fillion himself.

Now, this alone is an impressive feat. I mean, where does he come up with this stuff, anyways?! But in any case, it’s magnificent. But then, the internet had to go and make it better! For one, July 16th’s urbandictionary word of the day is “Double Rainbow.” Then previously (wait, what?) some famous YouTube band group singing quartet thing went and wrote a SONG about it for VidCon! Nathan Fillion, you have crushed death rays with your “hammer,” fought the Alliance for an entire season [AND A MOVIE], and solved countless crimes with your saucy police wench, but THIS, sir, tops it all. I salute you.

Nathan Fillion for Prez.

Anyways, I’m suppoooooooosed to be cleaning my room (lol) and I’m ALMOST DONE for the third day in a row, sooooo let’s just say that I don’t think this is the end, but I know we can’t keep going.

I was sorting through my school backpack, since school is over, and I noticed a ruler in the bottom of my bag. It’s a very nice ruler, perfectly straight (as rulers tend to be) and shiny, so prepared to be used in an exciting measurement. I haven’t used that ruler all year.

I regret that.

SO HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT

1) I have purple hair (partly)!

2) I’m a math geek!

3) I’m a junior!

4) I’m a math geek!

So on the subject of math geeks, guess what I got on my Algebra II final? 102%.  I kid you not. I got extra credit for “creative problem solving.” I couldn’t remember how to divide third degree exponential polynomials by monomials, so I put the third degree equation divided by the monomial into a Y= area, then copied the values in the TABLE, then put those into my stat plot and performed a quadratic regression on the values, thus transferring the equation into an X^2 format. *NOT LAME*

And alsoooo today was my last day of 10th grade. So I’m, like, a junior. I’m an upperclassmen.

…

…

…

heh heh heh heh heh >:)

But aside from that, I’ve been pretty uninteresting lately, unless you want to get into the intensely personal crap…which I know you don’t, because you’re clearly tired of my life.

So hey, just out of curiosity, am I the only one who thinks that “umber” is the weirdest name for a colour ever? Like, who would just look at a colour wheel and say “Oh hey, we’ll call that colour purple, and that one red, and that one yellow, and that one UMBER.”

Wth.

Um.

EXCUSES TIME!!

Recently, I’ve had a lot of tests and school work and crap (imagine! work being a necessity in school!) and other such shit. ESPECIALLY my AP Euro exam, which was (to say the least) morbidly ominous and mind-bogglingly terrifying. But that’s over now, so…

…okay, the exam was two weeks ago.

BUT STILL, SOLs and finals and all this crap been keepin’ me up at night. Stress stress stress! Stress!

Anyways. Today, I will actually use my bloggy powers to do what most people would do with a blog, which is RANT.

Today’s rant is about PUBLIC FIGHTS. Now, as we all know, I’m not exactly a classical pacifist. I’m completely fine with name-flinging and insult-stabbing, but when actual, physical violence is involved, I get a little bit pissed. But that’s not even the issue that bothers me most.

You may remember in Roman times, the hobby of Colosseum fighting. Men would pit themselves (unwillingly) against hordes of thugs, or lions, or otherwise engage in ventures of impossible odds. People would gather from cities (if they can be called that) from all around in order to watch the men be slaughtered viciously, ripped to shreds by lions or hungry swords, cheering hatefully, in an almost-example of mob logic.

Today–hundreds or even thousands of years later–this SAME PSYCHOLOGY still permeates the human psyche. You see people fighting, and others from all around will flock to the fight spot like bloodthirsty lemmings. Just a week ago, I was downtown (like a boss) when all of a sudden, hundreds of people practically rampaged down the street, screaming “FIGHT! FIGHT!” like some army of vicious kindergartners. I saw one man jump over a trash can in order to reach the fight spot–which was, of course, like a QUARTER MILE away. I mean, come on people! How does it AMUSE you that two, (three, four, maybe more) people are trying to KILL or MAIM each other?! Everyone seems to oppose warfare, and yet these street fights are like minor wars!

Anyways. My rant is done, and as I’ve obviously forgotten every important thing that I’ve done in the past two/three weeks, this post will self destruct in three, two…

Just kidding.

Um.

DON’T HATE ME, OKAY.

I have a perfectly good reason for not blogging, in spite of my repeated professions that I would blog. But I had nothing to blog ABOUT. And you don’t want to hear me blithering on about boring shi–stuff that has no relevance to anything at all.

Actually, I’m just plain lazy.

In fact, at the moment I’m just being lazy, but blogging was the lesser of two lazies. I could a) finally blog, and beg pitifully for your forgivement of my sloth, or b) do my Spanish project which is due tomorrow. The choice doesn’t even need choosing.

So here’s me, on the raggedy edge (+5 if you get the reference) begging your forgivement. I’M SO SORRY, I’M A TERRIBLY PERSON, PLEASE FORGIVE MEEEEEEE :’(

In any case, I will summarize events up to now.

1) I watched Mulan again. I LOVE THIS MOVIE.

2) I tried to watch My Neighbor Totoro. I really, really did. But…I couldn’t get past the titles. I’ve seen the movie, and it’s fabulous, but…I just can’t do it! The title song…it’s so…ach! I can’t do it. I’m so sorry, but I can’t do it.

3) I watched the Guild (the whole thing!) and LOVED IT. BEST WEBSHOW EVER.

4) I beat up Salmon Boy. Heh heh heh heh fun.

5) I exploded, and erupted, and nobody was able to leave or enter Europe for days–OH WAIT, that was a volcano. Yeah. Volcano.  Eyjafjallajokull. Not even kidding.

6) Vlogbrothers! Nerdfighters! Joyous galore! Oh YouTube, without thou, how wouldst I live….eth?

7) I have determined that the Geico gecko is, indeed, Australian. Take THAT.

My life is exciting.

So, moar blog l8r, and….<3z.

four big boulders, and a little Spring Break fever.

Well, duckies, it’s spring break again. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee no school! I’m off to the Land of the Lost for the next….[insert vacation length], and will have no intranet. D: but WORRY NOT. I will write blogs and post them when I get back. You didn’t think you’d get off that easy, did you?

By the way, what is UP with that? You simply can’t deliver an ominous statement like that without someone whispering “that’s what she said” or something of that ilk. Heh, ilk. But like, “I’ve been waiting for you” (or “I’ve anticipated your coming”), “You didn’t think you’d get off that easy,” et cetera. I mean, even most statements that are just plain THREATENING are….sketchable. Especially ones involving bludgeoning and/or clobbering. (Two of my favorite words ever, btw.)

And hm. More recommendations, mayhaps?

Youtube: vlogbrothers. I am now a proud Nerdfighter. (PS, Hank is my favorite….no offense John Greene! <3)

Movies: Blazing Saddles. I have seen this movie over much time, but my LAWD it’s fabulous. It’s a Western comedy; essentially a parody of all other westerns. For example, the entire movie revolves around the event of a black man becoming sheriff of a thoroughly stereotypical Western town. When he arrives, and states his intention, everyone draws guns on him. So, he pulls a gun on himself, and threatens to shoot the Sheriff if they don’t drop their weapons. He then wrestles himself into the nearest building.

Featuring Gene Wilder as a drunken shooting prodigy, and Madeline Kahn as a, pardon mi françes, slutty actress with a thorough lithp, this movie is probably one of Mel Brooks’ best. And goddamn, I’m starting to sound like a commercial. Moving on.

Well, I’m to be gone. There will be more to be done in a weeks time, loves! Until then, adieu, adieu! <3 <3 <3

Now I will not of course be posting every day. But today was a particularly bizarre day.

7:15- I wake up. Half an hour late. I forgot to turn on my alarm, and ended up waking up late, but magnificently rested.

7:40- Out of shower. Put pajamas back on…today being Pajama Day in school. You know that dream you have where you forget to get dressed, and go to school in your pajamas? Today, I forgot to not get dressed, and almost came to school in my clothes. It was a super fun day.

3:57- Earphones go in, Sweeney Todd soundtrack goes on. Memorization: 27%. I had various songs stuck in my head all day…it was psychotic.

4:46- I appear on Twitter. charlieissocoollike has posted a blog entry…featuring his new hair color, and several comments on his dailybooth. Mine. Out of four hundred bajillion zillion people who commented on his picture, mine was on his blog. Insanities, lovies. It was insanities.

This is the summary of my day.

I will be posting less often, as I get the strangest feeling that I’m becoming mildly less interesting. But fear not; twice a week will be the norm, henceforth.

AH LOVE YOU <3

http://charliemcdonnell.com/dyeing-my-hair-red/

This weekend was fun.

I went to a party of the birthday variety for a certain amiga who I love to death. It was überfun. We had a Tim Burton marathon (The original Batman [with Johnny Dangerously as Batman] and Betelgeuse, which I had already seen, and Sweeney Todd <3 and Nightmare Before Christmas, which I had not seen.) In general, I’m not a big Burton fan, but Sweeney Todd BLEW MY MIND. Johnny Depp is fantastic. Oh and “Not While I’m Around” will be stuck in my head for the rest of my entire life. But I digress.

In explanation of the rest of the title, we  spent most of Saturday evening drinking Coke and apple juice out of Guinness glasses…so no, I’m not becoming an alcoholic. So, while in her unbalanced kitchen (the floor is tilted), drinking our “Guinness,” we noticed a random hook coming from the ceiling. I mean, what could it possibly be for aside from hanging bodies? Come on now, it’s just simple logic.

So after our lovely evening of Guinness, meat hooks, and Tim Burton (Sweeney Todd, most notably, but now I’m just repeating myself), we promptly died of exhaustion at approx. 4 AM, being quite comatose until 11 AM, at which point we got up, ate ice cream, and watched Edward Scissorhands. And then ate pancakes. Much, much later, of course.

Also today (Sunday), I watched How to Train Your Dragon, which was meh. Not too great, not too crap. Just plain meh.

But now, my loves, the Merlin marathon is occurring, so I leave you with this phrase: Never trust the Cake.

I have another ulterior motive in posting. Aside from the benefits of whining/ranting/blithering about my life.

I want to make my previous posts

go

away.

My past self irks me. I was really lame previously. I am no longer lame. I fixed it. So I’m trying to decide whether to delete the posts, or rewrite them, or leave them as they are and just post enough that they’re way back and nobody reads them.

I hates them. I hates them like Gollum hated the filthy hobbitses. I hate them like Tinker Bell hated Wendy. I hate them like….

…

…

hi.

Um, my laptop is almost out of batteries, and I’m too lazy to get the cord. So…I suppose I’ll be misappearing now. BUT more posts to follow. I never break a promise.*

*jk.

UMHAI

So today is the one-week anniversary of my promise to post on an actual, regular basis. And as of yet, I am managing. Incidentally, today was an exciting day…so I do, of course, have an ulterior motive in posting aside from celebrating our collective survival of yet another week.*

Exciting things what have happened today:

1) I got a 9 on my AP Euro DBQ. AP Euro, the class that I would be failing if I was less of a damn good guesser. AP Euro, the class that I almost got my first C in last quarter. AP Euro, the most incredibly terrifying class ever. I got the second-highest score that you can get…also, pretty much the best that anyone ever gets, because a 10 is unheard of. And I may be rambling, but my GOLDFISH this is exciting. Like, you have no idea.

(EDIT: Apparently, a 9 is indeed THE HIGHEST YOU CAN GET ON A DBQ I LOVE EVERYTHING.)

2) I got a haircut! It’s all short and not-long now! (twss) I think it looks aiight, buuuut……heck who knows.

3) I finally finally FINALLY mastered the essential guitar tune of Revolution by the Beatles. After two weeks of relentless practice, I can finally sound like that guitar guy from the Beatles, you know the one, that played Revolution….yeah…(note: this is indeed humor, and I do indeed know that McCartney and Lennon played it yo)

4) I ate three bagels. Three. In various contexts. Can you say BAGELGASM.

and that’s pretty much it.

—

Several quotes from today:

(while talking about Robert Pattinson’s looming role in Spiderman as….uh, Spiderman):

“There is no spandex stretchy enough to accommodate that nose.”

“Hey guys, what’s that, uh, wet, greasy stain on Spiderman’s head?”

(While conversing about bagels):

“-Wait, you’re a bagel?

-Yessir I am.

-How do you resist the urge to eat yourself?

-….I am a bagel. Bagels do not have mouths.”

—

Also today, somebody asked if I wanted to hear a story on formspring.me (www.formspring.me/BoxOFrogs) and I really really want to so if you were that person, I am going to hold you to that goddamn story.

*Survival of another week is not necessarily a good thing. If one believes that the date of the apocalypse is set in stone, then we are indeed one week closer to complete and total world annihilation. On the upside, of course, the world has gone another week without reaching said apocalypse! YAY!